Gatchaman Crowds Embers
by reImage
Summary: It was always the little things that hurt us the most, all those little choices and decisions we thought didn't matter. Funny how all it took was a simple solution to a complex problem, that made us realise how foolish we all were. A small crew of OC's but other than that, here's a Sugane x Hajime fic.
1. Chapter 1

_It was always the **little** things that hurt us the **most** , all those little **choices** and **decisions** we thought didn't **matter**. Funny how all it took was a simple **solution** to a complex **problem** , that made us all **realise** how foolish we were._

 ** _Chapter 1: Sour Lemons_**

Pain. Hurt. That was all she felt as she pummelled to the ground. With each blow she felt herself grow weaker and weaker. No matter, all she had to do was stand again and again.

"You Gatchaman are serious..." Katze san groaned, and she agreed. He stood there, and she watched him, waiting for the blow that was sure to come. And there goes her arm she thought, though she could barely feel the pain anymore. If so, then why was she screaming?

Tears were clouding her vision. She must have cried a lot since what must have been Joe san's Phoenix Dive did nothing to dry her tears. Blobs. All she saw were blobs. Maybe she would introduce them to Mess chan next time...if there was a next time.

"Die Gelsadra!" green blob senpai screamed, preparing what would certainly be the final blow. Then suddenly red came into view, in front of her was a blob of red. All she could see was some green blob and some red blob arguing over something trivial, inconsequential even.

"Please..thats enough!" red blob-chan cried. She couldn't help but smile.

"Tsubasa...don't...you can't..." was all she could muster, and red blob-chan slowly lowered what appeared to be her hand. She could feel it, the last farewell the team gave her though she couldn't see it. The _NOTE_ was such a wonderful tool, to convey such pure feelings and emotions. She could see though, slowly. Her eyes dried enough to focus upon the one thing that mattered to her, standing as proud as when she first saw him, as cool as when he first appeared. She can't help but be glad that it was him, though she was a little bitter, bitter for having spent so little time together. She could feel him, his hesitation and reluctance, all she could do was offer him some support.

He can't help but regret...everything. He can't help but listen in either. Her feelings..her last thoughts. His attack was slowly making its way to her, and he could not help regret. The feelings of the entire team together he felt, could not even compare to the feelings he had now. Her eyes shone with pride, tinged with sadness and a little bit of regret. Her tears only made it worse. Her consolation gave him the final push needed, to do his solemn duty. Her scream was simply excruciating. And then there were none. The fire that burned warmly, the lightly that glowed happily, was quickly replaced with cold emptiness and darkness and silence.

* * *

They all stood together, an hour later. It was almost like a funeral. It would have been better if it was though, better than this shrouded uncertainty. It would be easier if she were one or the other, not suspended this like Schroedinger's cat. Sugane could not help but feel like he was somehow responsible. He felt that only Joe and OD understood of course but the rest...they just could not stop it, the comfort, the soothing words, all that meant nothing to him. He was responsible after all. By his own volition, he had agreed to this and by his own volition he struck her down.

"Sugane, you...it was not your fault alright? It was the fault of everyone here so..."

"It was my fault!" He hated being rude, especially to Leader, but he simply exploded "If only I held back more..."

"You couldn't. She would not have wanted that." OD said. He was right of course but still.

"Go home and rest. We will talk tomorrow." Joe ordered.

Nodding, he walked towards the lift, shrugging of Tsubasa's hand when she tried to comfort him. He knew she too felt guilty, but he didn't want to talk about it. It looks like she got the message, he'll apologise later when he felt a little better.

Warm showers really were a comfort. It reminded him too much of the atmosphere. Resting really was relaxing. It reminded him too much of the atmosphere. Crying was an instinctive release. It reminded him too much of the atmosphere. He simply lay there, in the darkness, in the room he ordered so carefully, in which he lay so emptily. What little chaos that entered his life, simply was non-existent and the joy he had, evaporated. What was it that his lecturer taught him...the principle of least action was it? He felt like he understood what he was trying to teach him now. Guess that exam is in the bag he thought with no thought at all.

Tomorrow was simply a long way away. He must have laid there for hours since the next thing he knew, it was already 3 am. And no sleep. Sighing, he dragged himself off towards her room, where she no longer resides. It provided no comfort for him but her hammock at least provided a means to delude himself into thinking she were still there. The soft pillows and cloth, felt like she did when he hugged her during the Katze fiasco. He was as angry with her as he was then, for allowing herself to suffer, for being the only one to suffer, for having to be the one to suffer...

Part of him wants her to wake soon, the other part of him wishes she won't. She has already given so much, it would be cruel to have her give anymore. If peace was unattainable for her while she lives, then he would gladly carry this heavy feeling in his heart forever. This guilt, was simply what he deserved.

* * *

Sugane's departure left a heavy atmosphere in the room. Everyone was as uneasy as the other, which only caused more uneasiness. What if the Kuu sama's appear again? Pacing uneasily, I was mentally, physically and emotionally prepared to jump into battle at any time now. In my head, I knew what to do but I simply could not organise my thoughts. Flurry thoughts and blurry words passed my mouth, I felt as useless as I did a year ago.

"Pai-Pai calm down" OD said "lets just think of our next course of action."

"O..Of course!" I screamed, snapping out of my thoughts. "First off, as discussed previously, Newbie will go with Prime Minister Sugayama and Rui to Millio tomorrow. Utsutsu, OD, and Gelsadra will take care of Hajime and the Gatchannel link for tomorrow. Joe and I will go clean up the mess in town."

"Understood!" came a unanimous reply.

"Alright then, dismissed!"

"But what of Sugane senpai?" the Newbie said.

"Sugane needs to sort things out, as do all of us. But this is especially harder for him then for us so just leave him be..."

A nod was all that was returned. Everyone save OD, Utsutsu and me left. Utsutsu tended to Hajime while Joe went out drinking I guess. As for me, I was wallowing my pitiful self in booze. Cans and cans of booze. Binge eating a few cookies, burgers, fries, chips and anything that was remotely edible, binge eating my pitiful, useless self down the drain. What stupid kind of leader am I? How can I even call myself a lea...

"It wasn't just your fault you know. We all should have stopped it when we could." OD interrupted, taking a can for himself.

"Practice what you preach OD..." I said referring to his can "...You rarely drink at all. Save for the really hard times."

Smiling slightly, we spent the night trying to drink away our sorrows.

* * *

She could not stop crying. Her red frog lay forgotten in the corner of the room. Even towards the very end, Hajime was smiling. Utsutsu understood what she tried to say to her, about the street lamp. Now she was alone again. Utsutsu cried out her eyes. Al chan was sleeping in the corner, she feels envious of him, to be able to sleep so easily. Her mind was in turmoil, her first friend. She tried to kill her first friend. Utsustu feels gloomy, for the first time in a very long time.

In the next room, a different scene is playing out. Rui has Tsubasa help with removing her makeup. Gelsadra simply stands in the corner. Silence envelops the three as they come to an understanding. Rui understands that they did what they felt was right. They understand that they were wrong. Tsubasa understands that she didn't listen. Rui knows Tsubasa tries.

"I'm sorry..." she whispers "for not listening when you tried to warn me."

"Its alright," he replies "I didn't listen to her before too."

Gelsadra just stands there. She thinks that she should leave, but she wants to stay by Tsubasa.

And the night just moves by silently. She stands there silently like a log

Rui has known Hajime for nearly a year, but she could never fully understand her. The way she spoke, confusing and vague, but true nonetheless. JJ san had a way of telling the truth too, but unlike Hajime his words were crystal clear and understandable if only slightly cryptic. He feels like Hajime did see this coming, she did know this was going to happen. Perhaps this was why she felt so responsible, so willing to carry the responsibility herself. However, these thoughts are merely assumptions. Tsubasa was putting away his dress now, he knew she too felt the most responsible, along with Gelsadra, but they barely knew her. Not like he did, like they all did. But even so...

Did he know her, yes.

Did he truly know her, maybe.

Did he understand her, perhaps.

Did he truly understand her, no.

If anything, Hajime was as understandable as JJ san. Cryptically clear and confusingly insightful. He just hopes she wakes soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Bitter candy**

The usual warm and bright day it would seem. Sugane felt a little better though still tired considering the distinct lack of sleep he had last night. The usual weight of his katana in his hands and the usual weight on his back. Today was normally usual as usual. Joe san told him the plan this morning and it made him feel better. He wonders if this is what Katze feels like when he plans the misery of the people. Schadenfreude at its distinct best. Soon the people will realise what they have done and the consequences of their actions. Schadenfreude. He can't help but laugh a little as the girl in his class across the road trips and falls.

The three girls are here today as usual, though they were missing the past few weeks.

"Sugane..." they greet. He nods and walks by them. The rest of the day they chat like nothing happened, but they notice he isn't being himself. They don't blame him though, but they don't know. Not yet.

"Sugane, whats wrong?" Pink hair asks. He just smiles at them "Oh nothing. You know, there will be a Gatchaman special later on The Millione Show?"

"Seriously? I'll watch it!" she exclaims.

"Please do." He replies smiling slightly "Please do."

After classes, he heads towards club. The Kendo club. Waving a sword was basically all he was good at after all.

"Oh Sugane!" the club president calls out "How rare, usually you're off doing hero work!"

"It seems I have time today president." He replies, a little softly.

"Well get ready, today we will be having a small kendo competition."

It takes five minutes to get ready. Ten minutes to prepare the competition. An hour to defeat everyone. No mercy was given, he felt like he could win an entire war going solo.

"Sugane," the president talks to him after "you were using quite the force there. You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm going now. Don't feel too well."

"Sure..."

* * *

Joe and Paiman stood in the middle of town, assessing the situation.

"...There's quite a lot isn't there Joe..."

"U...Uhuh"

"Thats quite some damage..."

"Uhuh..."

"There are also too many bloody Kuu sama in the area..."

"Uhuh..."

"They're surrounding us..."

"Uhuh..."

And the rest of the day was spent taking out the trash.

* * *

OD was running around getting makeup and clothes for Rui.

"Hmm...I think this outfit is better for today hmmm?"

"Ehhh...maybe we could do without the bunny ears today. We are going to give some pretty bad news today after all."

"Hmmmm true. Then this one..."

In the corner Utsutsu tenderly takes care of Hajime. Gelsadra is up to give some life force to Hajime now. She can't help but take more life force from her though. She shouldn't but she does hold some resentment towards her. It is her fault that Hajime is like this. Gel notices but stays silent.

"Al chan..." she calls to the kitty "I hope she wakes soon..."

He meows and jumps onto Hajime, curling up and taking his nap. Utsutsu is amused. She laughs a little, it felt really good. Picking up the kitty, she tells him he can't disturb Hajime when she is sleeping.

"S...ne..." she whispers inaudibly. Utsutsu could almost cry. Hajime she knows, talks in her sleep. She notices because Hajime likes to creep into her room and cuddle up with her. She also knows things about Hajime that is best left unknown. Hajime will talk when she is ready she tells herself, if she ever wakes up.

"Hang on Hajime...Hang on." Gel offers to give some more of her life force, Utsutsu smiles and declines.

The air in the room became more lively. So much so that even Sugane felt a little better. He smiles when Utsutsu tells him that she talked. Sure she left out a small detail in that she called his name but still, Sugane should figure it out on his own.

"It is almost time guuuys" OD exclaims "so go out there and do you're best!"

"We will D san." says Tsubasa "Let's get some ice cream later alright Gel chan?"

"Okay!"

* * *

Utsutsu and Sugane never really talk much with each other. Usually when they would, it was through the presence of a common friend. Mostly Hajime. Actually only with Hajime. Now they talk, discuss what they did during the day. Sugane wants to be an engineer, but also pursues the theoretical physics a his hobby. He tells her about Field equations and whatnots. Utsutsu talks to him about plants and their medicinal properties.

"I want to be a biologist, or a doctor." she says and he nods.

They talk a lot that day, though they felt like they were talking more to Hajime than to each other. Its fine, they decide, we'll work on it slowly.

"Man I'm tired..." Paiman says as he plops down onto the cushion.

"You alright Pai-Pai?" OD asks.

"Damn Kuu sama are everywhere...Joe and I had such a hard time cleaning the town up with them still running around. No matter how many times we popped them, they just kept coming. Multiplying in fact, although they cleared up much after the newbie went on TV. Speaking of which, where is she?"

"Out eating ice cream with Gel."

"Is that okay? The entire city is out after her blood you know."

"She will be fine."

Joe plays darts. And smokes. A rare occurrence these days.

"Still, it would be best if they don't go out. Not now." he says scoring three bullseyes.

"I agree with Joe san. Gelsadra needs to remain under our supervision." Sugane says.

"But then it would seem like we are putting her under arrest you know," OD counters "she is still a guest here."

"Well I understand how you guys feel but I think we should let the newbie handle it." Sugane wants to argue but Paiman stops him. "Of course we will still keep a lookout so Utsutsu will observe from a distance."

"I'm gloomy..."

* * *

"Well it would seem that the problem is resolving."

"I agree. Perhaps I may have been wrong about _CROWDS_. Although I still feel a little wary."

Rui likes talking with Joe. Their little discussions always brought joy to them. An intellectual equal they felt. Suzuki Rhythm too was wonderful, if a little extreme. Deep down though, they knew they had always been three steps back.

"Hajime, probably saw this coming didn't she?"

"That girl. She is too reckless, despite her calm and insightful nature."

"I think it was because se felt responsible."

"How so?"

"Most likely, she tried to warn us. She tried to tell us. I think she felt it was the only way Tsubasa chan was going to learn, that was why she did not actively try to stop her."

"...That sounds like her alright."

"In retrospect, this event was probably unavoidable."

"Yeah, if she had stopped the newbie now, it would only delay the inevitable and perhaps be even more disastrous. The newbie has brought quite the trouble huh?"

"Indeed, but its not her fault. Like the rest of us, she was just trying to help."

"A child would not be of much use in the battlefield."

"A child needs to learn to grow up. Now, she has learned, she will not be presenting much trouble from now on."

Joe gave a huff of acknowledgement. Tsubasa was indeed the cause of this, and she has learned her lesson. Joe also felt a little guilty.

"It was my fault as well. I knew that putting Gelsadra in power was going to be disastrous, even so I did. I had thought that I could handle it should it go south. Again, Hajime had to clean up for our mistakes."

"You did what you felt was right."

"No. I did what I thought was necessary. Necessary to push this country forward. Hajime talked to me, during the campaign. She asked me, in her own way, if this was what I felt was right."

"..."

"I said yes. I lied. Deep down I knew what i was saying was no different from the lies those politicians I hate spout all the time. she looked into my eyes, I knew that she knew, but she said nothing."

"I guess we are both hypocrites."

Chuckling slightly, Joe agreed. Soon they began planning for the reinstallation of the government. They had quite the governmental mess in their hands, worse than any scandal. They had to make sure everything was in order for when Hajime wakes up. Two hypocrites trying to change a hypocritical world, how insane. They won't give up though, not even if they were wrong they will always try.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Silent Secrets**

I remember a time, when I was like the everyone else. I was always going with the flow with my friends. Sometimes, I would be whatever they wanted me to be, did whatever they wanted me to do, even if it wasn't very nice. In others, I simply watched as Kotori chan and her friends 'played' with the other kids in our class. I was simply an ordinary Jane Doe in an ordinary plain world.

"Oi Hajime chan! Get me a soda!" Kotori chan would tell me.

"O..Okay!" was my standard reply.

When it came to playtime, I would always lend my toys to the group. Although sometimes they came back broken, I would always smile and say "It's alright!". In the end, I was only ever kept around as a toy. When those children were bored of me, I was tossed aside. I made a mistake however, and those few years in elementary school was the hardest for me.

"Hey did you hear? Hajime was the one who killed the rabbit?"

"Ehhh so cruel!"

"The worst..."

Their whispers, intentionally at a volume loud enough for me to hear, but soft enough that the teachers won't. I was locked in, with nothing to lean on and no one to support me. The rumours got worse and worse, and I was accused of things I never did. I was the go-to criminal, punished simply because I existed to be punished. I could not understand those people, never could see their reasoning. I think that was when I became hungry.

In retrospect, I should never have been friends with them. My family was considered relatively well off, actually we were quite rich. Those kids just wanted to use me. Knowing this, I still trusted them. It was during summer break in my third year of elementary school, that my family was transferred. Dad got promoted and was to move to the city. Secretly I was glad, that I could get away and start anew though I would have to keep the fact that I was living in literally a mansion secret. Mom could see though, she always could.

While we were packing up, I sat in the corner of the living room folding some paper. Mom was always showing me how to fold them into pretty birds, planes and flowers. They looked so pretty, I had to try it myself.

"Hajime, sometimes being yourself is all that is needed." She said one day.

"Being myself? How?"

"Being yourself means doing things yourself and thinking for yourself. You mustn't do something simply because everyone is doing it, that would make you everyone but no one."

"Everyone but no one? I don't understand mom!" I pouted.

She laughed "Think about it Hajime" and she went off to make me a couple of sandwiches. I was a very hungry kid by that point.

For my birthday that year, she got me a pair of scissors. The prettiest pair of scissors I have ever seen. The silver of the metal and the crane like shape of it, all of it appealed to me. Until today, I still use them, when no one is looking. It took a few more years, but soon I understood what mom was trying to tell me. In the meantime, I made a few friends in school.

"Hajime chan is always smiling isn't she?" They always say. No one sees though, the frown on my face, the anger in my eyes. No one bothers to talk to the real me or even try to acknowledge the real me.

"Haha not all the time. I don't think I smile in my sleep!" and they laugh. Whether it was with me or at me, I simply did not care. They were simple people living a simple world and I was getting hungrier with each passing second.

* * *

Hajime always did things herself. Always shouldering everything, even when it did not concern her. Sugane could not get the thought out of his mind, in fact alcohol only seemed to ingrain that single thought deeper into his brain, though it should have done the exact opposite. Perhaps the next drink might work a little better.

"Oi Sugane, you look like you're going to die." Joe said.

"I... _hic_...do not!" I could barely protest before I fainted and fell face first onto my table.

"...Lightweights, they always look the toughest right before they fall..." Alan the barkeep said.

"Well he has a lot on his mind." Joe said picking up Sugane's phone. As always, it was fixated 24/7 on Hajime.

"How is she?"

"Still sleeping..."

And that was all they said about her in two months. Sugane stirred and mumbled something along the lines of 'Stupid Hajime'.

"He should just confess." Alan and Joe said simultaneously, sniggering at their fallen comrade.

* * *

Sugane remembers his first encounter with her. The fiery way she spoke, the spirited way she walked, the presence that she exuded. She was everything he was not, but exactly the same. Like two sides of the same coin, opposite ends of a spectrum. The light in her eyes always shone the brightest when she spoke to him, he noticed. A feeling of mutual understanding. Sure they fought over many things, but sometimes they laughed with each other. He forgot when this happened, but he thinks it was sometime after

Here lay the girl. Once a fiery ball of existence, now a cold representation of death.

"You shouldn't think like that Sugane." OD said lightly tapping his head. "She is strong, she will make it."

A call came, a few days later, it was Mrs. Ichinose.

"Hello, this is Mrs. Ichinose. If possible, may I come over today?"

"Yes of course." Sugane replies. Leader of course was not amused.

"Whoever heard of letting a non member enter our base?" he cried out.

"Now now Pai Pai" OD began, followed by a "Don't call me Pai Pai!"

Eventually they agreed and soon Mrs. Ichinose came over.

If Hajime was a ball of energy, her mom was anything but. She carried herself in a dignified and regal manner, befitting that of royalty. She also had a rather, motherly feel to her. The warmth in her voice was enough to make the whole team relax in her presence. A truly impressive mother Sugane felt.

"Oh please don't flatter me!" she said blushing a little when told by Tsubasa. Hajime's dad it seems, could not get out of work to visit but sends his regards anyway Mrs. Ichinose says.

"Oh please call me mom" she tells Sugane, causing the team to snigger at him. Blushing a little, he declines.

"I insist!" she says with Hajime-like vigour. As expected of Hajime's mom he supposes.

"Y...Yes M..MOM!" he says nearly screaming at the end. This cute scene unbeknownst, was broadcasted live onto Gatchannel, for the whole world to see.

An hour passes and they are in the apartment. 'Mom' was cooking a dish that looked a lot like what Hajime made for them a year ago. Only slightly more colourful and with extra spice, punch, sweet, sour and basically everything else you could think of. Her rain-bowl dish she calls it.

"It was a favourite of Hajime's" she explains wistfully.

* * *

It was already evening, when 'mom' said she needed to leave. Sugane as gentlemanly as he could, asks if he could escort her. Bad mistake he realises immediately.

"Why of course Sugane," she says sweetly, calling him on a first name basis already. "I have something to talk to you about too."

He voice sounded cold and emotionless then, but was replaced with the motherly warmth quickly enough. The walk to the roadside was short and brisk, the cool air settling in. She talks, Sugane listens. She tells him a little of Hajime's past, he can't help but feel sad. She gives him a pair of scissors. He stares questioningly.

"A birthday gift," she explains "for when she wakes. She used to use this all the time in elementary school, until she decided to move out and live on her own. I don't think she remembers owning this pair."

"Why me?"

"Because she trusts you the most."

It was long and silvery, with ornate designs and carvings and a crane shaped handle. Gold inlays lined the ornate carvings and handle, an elegant and simplistic design. She tells him that Hajime is eighteen this year, and that the scissors were a pair Hajime wanted, many years ago.

"She was so cute back then," 'mom' tells him "jumping up and down in front of the glass case overtime we walked by at the mall. Her little yelps of 'Mom I want this I want this!' is something I will never forget. I bought it for her, when she was only ten, now she is eighteen." She tears up a little then "Take care of her Sugane, take care of my precious daughter." were her last words before she jumped into the car and was driven away.

A sour aftertaste, he thinks. That rain-bowl dish was definitely something Hajime would like. Looking at the scissors however, reminds him nothing of Hajime, simple and straightforward. He realises that there are some things that even Hajime hides from him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 : Hopeful Patience**

It has been a few days since Mrs. Ichinose came over, and Sugane has been holding onto the box of scissors. Being the responsible person he was, he kept the pair on himself at all times. A house can be broken into, even the Gatchaman base. The safest place is by my side, where I know where it is at all times, he reasons. Truly though, he just feels like the scissors were all that is left of Hajime. He lost her once, nearly lost her before, he won't let anything happen again.

"Hey Sugane , how's your mom doing?" Pinky asks on Monday.

"Mother is fine. Why do you ask?"

"I meant your 'mom', Mrs. Ichinose. Getting familiar with the in-laws aren't you?"

"Wha- How did you.."

"Next time try not to behave so shamelessly in front of camera Sugane." She says, referring to Gatchannel.

Everyone in the lecture hall snickers at him, he can't help but go bright red. He thinks that perhaps he should use amnesia effect to escape while he can.

'When were you the type to run away?' a voice in his head chides him. So he endures it for now. He is a man after all, things like this should not bother him. Checking his phone, he confirms that Hajime is indeed there. Checking his pockets, he confirms that the scissors were still there. The lecture continues on as usual.

* * *

It has become a routine for Sugane to sit by Hajime once he comes back. Following the fiasco with Mrs. Ichinose, Sugane has been sure to turn the Gatchannel off. He uses the excuse that it is to protect the tablet from overheating, after the previous one broke down. He takes this chance to be alone with Hajime. Although comatose, her presence was enough to ease his mind. With every passing second away from her, his body becomes jittery and uncomfortable. Paranoid, that was what Joe san called him. He doesn't mind that, he knows he is. Still, he feels that he should at least ensure her safety as she sleeps.

He meditates by her, as patient as can be. He wonders if this is how JJ is like usually, unthinking, unmoving, unfeeling, un-everything. He likes it though, its the calmest he has ever felt. Her whispers as she sleeps, were like a meditative mantra. He listens to her speak softly in her sleep, he learns more with each passing day. He opens his eyes and finds Altair joining him in his afternoon meditation, though the cat probably fell asleep. He pets the curled up cat and he meows, waking up. Yawning, he jumps of to find OD or Utsutsu to feed him some snacks or the occasional fishy treat.

Once the tablet has cooled down and Gatchannel once again up and running, Sugane would go to the open field behind the apartment complex to give his Katana a swing. A few months ago he would have turned around, expecting to see Hajime sat down observing him. She had very quiet steps he notices, despite her loud and brash appearance. Hajime had a strange knack for disappearing if she so wished to, even if she were wearing the most outrageous outfit. Now he doesn't expect much. He hopes though that Hajime herself walked up to him after waking up, pretending like she was never injured. Heck if anyone would come up and tell him she has woke up, would make him infinitely more happy.

The days go by, sometimes JJ would give them a prophecy or two, sometimes Sugane has errands to do. Still, he always hopes that even for a second, when he returns from the university and sits by her side, that Hajime would wake up. A second is all he needs to know that she is fine. And so everyday he sits by her side. Utsutsu tells him that her body has long healed, but her soul is still badly damaged.

"Normally she should have woken by know. Joe managed to heal within the week before, I'm doing everything possible but Hajime is taking far longer than I had anticipated..." Utsutsu says in frustration.

It makes him worried since her body is a vessel not just for herself, but also for an entirely different and far more dangererous. His fears would soon become reality.

Another Friday, another week. Sugane comes back and performs his usual ritual. He turns off the tablet, and puts it aside. He sits by her side and enjoys her presence. That is until it was not just the two of them.

"Oi! What do you think you're doing with **mein** body~?" it screams.

"Berg Katze. For starters, its Hajime's body not yours. Secondly, I wasn't doing anything. Merely enjoying her presence so if you don't mind, get lost."

"Bah potato potahto~. You liar! I can **see** it in you eyes. How you **look** at her~ What you want to **doooo** ~ I can seeeeeeeee it **aaaaaallll** ~"

"I'm telling you its not like that!"

At this, it opens Hajime's eyes. Its red and sinister and cruel, very much unlike Hajime's eyes. Berg Katze has awoken.

"You LIEEEE! You may be able to hold back for now but how **long** can you last!" she screams.

Sugane has already called the rest of the team. Pouring in one by one. First Joe and Rui, then Utsutsu and OD. Finally was Tsubasa and Gelsadra.

"OHHH lookie~ Everybody's here! Even Gay-chan how are you? I hope I didn't disfigure your body in our last fight too much~"

"Berg Katze," OD sternly replies, "Stop now or I will..."

"YOU WILL WHAT? **KILL** ME LIKE YOU KILLED HAJIME chaaaan~? She is **very** nearly dead you know" Hajime's body stands up and walk towards the group, "You really did her good! **Amaaaaaazingly** gooooooood~ I escaped before she fell but it still tooooook me a **loooooong** time to gain control you knoooow~ Soon though, Hajime chyaaaaan will **die** and I will be **FREEEEEEE** ~"

Sugane was placed on the spot. Berg Katze by right should have been killed immediately. Before, it was because of Hajime that they didn't, that they spared him. Even so, Hajime herself stated that she would take care of it and if she were unable to, to stop him at all costs. He knew that she also meant that even at the cost of her life. On the other hand, he did not want to kill her, he made a promise to Mrs. Ichinose that he would take care of Hajime.

"Go ooon little boooooy~", Katze goaded, knowing exactly what was going on his mind, "She said at **all** costs riiight? You don't want to **disappoint** her now do you? You don't want to disappoint your **darling** Hajime chaaaaaan do you?~"

Berg Katze was jumping about, running everywhere. It took a whole lot of effort to keep him from leaving the base.

"Goodbyeeeee~" He yelled, when he managed to break pass the team.

"Crap stop him!" Leader yelled.

Berg Katze would have escaped, but suddenly Hajime's body simply stopped moving. She stood still, silent and still. Berg Katze could no longer be heard.

"Gaatchaaa~" she yawned before slumping down on the floor, lying motionless.

* * *

"What was all that about" Joe wondered.

"I think that Hajime is still trying to hold back Berg Katze." Sugane says.

"Perhaps that is why she is healing so slowly? We are not only healing her, but also the thing inside her. Now it is a battle between the two of them, who will heal first?" OD reasons.

"I'm gloomy..." replies Utsutsu.

"Still, at least Hajime sempai is still alive right?" Tsubasa tries. She still feels guilty for forcing Hajime to sacrifice herself. "All we can do now is support her."

"She's right everyone. Hajime promised that she will be fine. This is Hajime's fight, we must believe in her." Paiman says.

Gravely, they all returned to their rooms with the exception of Sugane. He would stay by her side today to make sure nothing happened. He remembers the times they talk, the times they walked. He sits beside her all night, slowly drifting off to sleep despite his best efforts. He awoke around 6 am in the morning, the usual time. He finds Gelsadra sitting beside him as well.

"My species does not require what you call sleep, so I have been keeping an eye on Hajime as well." she smiles.

Sugane has always ondered what gender Gelsadra was, her appearance as a small girl then as an adult male confused him.

"Gel is female!" Tsubasa asserts when asked "Only when she is male is she male...?"

As expected, Tsubasa gets confused with her own argument. Tsubasa is a simple minded girl, Sugane thinks.

"Gender?" Gelsadra question when asked by Tsubasa. "Whats that?"

They leave it at that since there is nothing left to discuss. Days go by and Hajime's body returns to its usual inactivity. The rest of the team too relaxes a little. Not Sugane, he will remain vigilant throughout this wait. A week has gone by since the event, and Hajime has yet shown signs of waking for good. Sugane still keeps vigilant. Vigilant he will remain until Hajime wakes up.

Two months, he counts. Two months, three weeks and four days. He will wait, be it a year, a decade or even a century, he will wait. Sugane is patient, he knows he has faults like everyone, he knows he is only human. Even so, he will wait, Hajime has yet to break her promise and he will continue believing in her.

"Su..ne sem..."she whispers in her sleep. Listening to her whispers provides enough comfort to him. The whispers to him, were like an unspoken promise, a promise that she will return.

"I'm here," he whispers back, "I'm waiting."

* * *

 **Authors notes:** **I would like to thank the readers, who have shown their support for my story. Yes I have been gone for a while, I was busy with school and my other stories. Another reason was because I feel like I can still do more with the chapters so I have been adding a few details here and there in previous chapters, so don't be surprised if some of them do not seem quite the same in future. Thanks and goodbye for now~**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 : Hunger Passions**

Hajime remembers her childhood. Days on days of oppression, days on days of hiding. Everyday, she grows tired and weary and restless. It was her sixth birthday, mom gave her a diary.

"But I want a pair of scissors..." she pouts but mother never relents. Thus, she was here writing in her book, drawing colourful birds and cubes of different colours and finally, she stops. Somehow she doesn't like the drawing, she thinks the small green bird could look better. She draws for years and years, eventually she moves on to making paper birds. In the beginning they look like planes, then months go by and they have beaks, then more months pass and they have proper wings.

At the age of nine, she has mastered paper bird making, each bird as detailed as can be. Individual feathers, made from many thin strips of paper, of different shades of the same hue, make up the bulk of it, but the details on the feet, the beak and especially the eyes, oh how she adores those emerald transparent paper eyes.

She retires from paper bird making, moving on now to watchmaking, then sculpting, painting was easy though. Hajime has countless hobbies, they all serve to distract her from school and the people she calls 'friends'.

* * *

In middle school, she makes more friends. Proper ones this time, she chooses carefully and cautiously, all with a smile on her face. She no longer requires hobbies, though she still makes stuff from time to time.

Her shelves are covered with notebooks. She has noticed, over the years, that the notes seemed to have acquired individual souls. Each 'dear diary' she wrote for her future self, each 'note to self' or 'shopping list' she writes, was directed at a person who may or may not even be able to recognise her. Hajime looks through her notes, smiling at how simple and trivial her little self was, no longer sympathising with her child self. After all, everything that happened defined who she was today, she may not have enjoyed her elementary school years, but she no longer regrets them. She has grown up a little.

Every time she wrote in her book, she knows that the future recipient would never judge her, never hurt her, never shut her out. Overtime she read her notes, it felt like it was the notes themselves telling her what to do, telling them about themselves.

"...so you want to eat ice cream?...Tomorrow?...Vanilla it is then after school!" she listens to her book some more, "you want chocolate instead? Hmmm...Well I guess we could have both!"

Her friends giggle at her antics, they don't mind her though they have come to accept her quirks.

Having ice cream in the park in the morning. How happy she feels, happier than before. She feels glad that her parents let her moved here, so peaceful and quiet and nice. Interesting place too, she sees a boy with blonde hair holding a katana. Perhaps he is from a katana making family, or a descendent of a long line of samurai, or maybe even a Yakuza? His uniform belongs to a neighbouring middle school, and his messy blonde hair seems to imply he is some sort of delinquent. Curious, she decides to approach him and ask.

"Excuse me, but is your family a katana maker, or a descendent of a long line of samurai or maybe even part of the Yakuza?"

"Thats rude!"

"Sorry, but I don't often see blonde people walking around with a katana in hand."

"Aah...well I have my reasons..."

"Is that so?"

Well he seems interesting enough, maybe she should invite him to have some ice cream? She is about to ask, but the boy disappears, actually was there even a boy to begin with, she can't remember quite well.

"Ohh well."

* * *

Hajime is nearing the end of her middle school. Her grades have shown that while her Maths, Science and History were good, her languages Japanese and English however, were sorely lacking.

"I don't understand, how Hajime can score so well in everything but her languages..."

"Ha ha I don't score thaaat well."

"A+ in Maths, Science and History. Average score of 98 in all three of them, how is that anything if not excellent?"

"Well it just seemed obvious you know? Like reading a storybook and playing chess you see?"

"...No."

"Like in History you sort of know how it was at that time, and you can guess how the people felt and thought and stuff like that. In Maths and Science, its like reading a book you see? Like the story is set and you are just reading through, following the hero's adventure and stuff ."

"Hajime...you are a genius..."

"Why do you say that?"

"You don't study at all! And then you score so well"

Her friend pouts and the others laugh, consoling her. Hajime thinks about it, and joins in as well.

"Well if you want I can teach you!"

* * *

It was her first year in high school. Most of her friends went some place else, though two of them joined her. She notices a blonde boy in her school, carrying a katana around.

"That's Tachibana sempai. Tachibana Sugane sempai. Isn't he dreamy?" her friends and female classmates swoon.

"Sugane sempai huh? Interesting."

Hajime swears she has seen him before, but dismisses it. After all, it isn't so weird to bump into the same person, if both of them live in the same general area.

Hajime bumps into him a few days later, literally. Their eyes meet for a fraction of a second.

His first impressions of her: She was annoying and klutzy, though somewhat cute. He notes though, that her eyes seem a little heavy.

Her first impressions of him: Is straight and boring, has handsome features. Seems to be hiding something though. More info needed.

Smiling she apologises and they both walk by past. They forget each other soon enough though.

In her second year, she commemorates the first day by buying a new notebook. It seems like the newcomer wants to eat out today, so she brings her lunch box to bask in the sun with him.

"But when the television mentioned Gatchaman, I just couldn't take it anymore!"

Gatchaman, they were all the rage today it seems. "Gatchaman huh? Interesting."

She leaves her half eaten lunch. Though she has had her fill, she still feels empty, she yearns for much more.

"I'm soo hungry..."

How wistful her whispered wording, so laced with yearning. So pure her wish, simplicity and complexity mix. He arrives, ready to deliver to her, the much desired wish of hers.

* * *

She remembers how it happened. She knows how she fell for him. Unlike the others, he sought to understand her, to know who she was. He never dismissed her as anything else but herself, though if only he could get him to call her by her name instead of 'Newbie'. Yeah their relationship was rocky to begin with, but over time she understood who he was as did he. It began as an argument, questions thrown in each others faces, then it became discussions, reasons for their actions. Soon they spoke more casually, seeking to know rather than to understand.

"Why did you reveal yourself?" He says, a day after the tunnelling incident.

"Well its rude not to show your face when addressing someone right?"

"So you knew what you were doing then?"

"Of course! I'm not so irresponsible as to do something like that on a whim you know~"

"...I see."

This was probably were it began. Their true 'knowing' of each other, their similar but different one track mindedness. Sempai seemed to like being a hero, and he has more than once acknowledge this fact subtly in his own way, yet he never reveals himself to public. She understands that it was to follow Pai Pai's orders, but Hajime feels that things should be different. She discusses it with Pai Pai and Sempai at the dinner table.

Over time, Sugane trusts her more, Hajime begins to seem more like a simple girl. A simple girl with her own simple thoughts, troubles and joy. He smiles more with her, as does she. Sometimes though, he sees her smile melancholically, as if she were deep in her mind thinking of things, worrying over her worries. He is troubled when this happens, for some unknown reason. There were times when her smiles felt forced and troubled, the others either take no notice or ignore this. Credit to Utsutsu though, she too notices.

"I have noticed it too." she says. Of the rare few times they have spoken together in private, Sugane and Utsutsu worry over their mutual one and only best friend.

It came as a shock to the team, when she decided to thrust Berg Katze into her soul. She notices though, that Utsutsu and Sugane are relatively unsurprised by her actions. Rather, they worry more on her mental condition than her choice to take him in.

"With it inside you, constantly yapping and insulting and annoying you, we must make sure you are alright!" He screams at her, with Utsutsu nodding behind him. The insults did not fall to deaf ears, as Katze too began hurling insults back at them.

"Ha ha well I'm alright." She smiles her perfect smile, one she has practiced for years. Utsutsu feels something is wrong with the smile, though she accepts it as it is for now. Sugane sees a woeful representation, a hollow smile.

One day, they walk alone in the park, Sugane holds his cup of cola in one hand while he carries his katana in the other. Hajime finishes her lemon tea, and proceeds to eat three packets of gummy worms, a cupcake and some doughnuts.

"You are going to get fat if you continue like that Hajime."

"Thats rude sempai! You shouldn't talk about a girls weight you know~"

He laughs at her pouting face. "Sorry" he giggles.

They keep silent for a while, walking under star lit skies. Somehow, they wander onto a mountain cliff, a few kilometres away overlooking the city, with the aid of their suits of course.

"Hey sempai?"

"Yeah?"

"...If I ever become unable to handle Katze-san..."

"..."

"...Should I lose control, would you do what is necessary at all costs?"

A rare moment of weakness, a mere second of vulnerability.

"Don't say that, of course you can handle it."

"You never know, if someday...Promise me you will do your duty..."

"...Hajime...I can't do that..."

"Come on sempai, sure you can." She says a little too offhandedly and forced.

"You're being selfish ...Fine...But that should be no excuse for you to give up okay?" He had so wanted to say 'for me' or something along those lines.

"Alright sempai!"

She smiles a smile that seems foreign on her face. Somewhat different and more joyful. Wistful, but joyful nonetheless. He smiles too, slightly, reserved, controlled, but true. As expected of him she thinks.

"Come on sempai!"

"Hey Hajime! What are you doing? Wait!"

She jumps off the cliff, head first. He follows suit, diving after her. Like birds soaring through the nightless clouds. They enjoy each others company, and every now and then they return to this same cliff, simply to admire the same starry night's sky together. Sparse but few words were exchanged during these expeditions, but there were words. Mostly though, they spoke silently, an unseen connection between and only them.

Sugane moves on to university, Hajime begins her final year. They don't go on their night travels as often anymore, too busy prepping and adjusting. When they do, they cherish each second. Two lonely people, finding solace between themselves. It is enough for them, they need no more for now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Slumber Mornings**

"Sugane, we're going drinking tonight."

"But I have to..."

"Come on."

"But..."

"No excuses!"

Sugane would much rather sit at home. He has a test in a few days and he needed to study. Desperately. He spent more time taking care of Hajime, his grades fell slowly and surely. It didn't help that Joe san is dragging him out for a drink. Whatever it was the weekend anyway, it didn't matter if he got a little drunk tonight. Taking out his phone, he downed his third cup of beer as he looked at Hajime's sleeping face.

"Sugane, you have gotten better at drinking."

"Yesh. I ha- _hic_ -have."

"...Right I take that back."

"Wassat? Cant hear y- _hic_ -you..."

And lights out for Sugane. Looking at Sugane plonked on the table, reminded him just how much he has grown from that small boy he saved almost ten years ago.

"You got a smile on your face there Joe"

"Alan, remember how I used to come in here and pick up so many girls?"

"Thinking of finding another girl?"

"No...Not after..."

"Yeah. But you must move on, the world won't wait for you you know?"

"..."

"All you friends, your team, they have moved on and grown up. Only you are left trapped in your past."

"I know Alan. But I just couldn't let go."

"...Why?"

"...Because...No one can replace..."

"Tell her that and maybe she might come back. Now especially that your Gatchaman identity has been revealed right?"

"Hajime...you idiot..."

Sugane's sudden outburst was enough to catch the two adults attention.

"He should confess soon."

"Just leave it to him. He'll figure it out by himself eventually."

* * *

"Sugane, aren't the stars pretty tonight?"

"They're the same stars we see every night though."

"Oh come on! Don't be such a spoil sport."

Sighing, Sugane plopped himself down beside her on the edge of the cliff. Looking up, the stars were indeed beautiful, but he has seen them before and knows them all by heart. Pointing upwards, I point out three stars.

"That's Deneb, Altair and Vega. The summer triangle."

"Haha yes it is. But isn't it nicer just to look at them though?"

"I don't get it..."

"Like you read a book again and again, but you know exactly what the story is, every word and phrase. But every time you read it again it just gives you this...shiny feeling you know?"

"...I think I get it."

"Yeah!"

Sugane just sat there looking at the stars, savouring every sight, sound and smell. The wind blew against his face, bringing along the comforting smell of Hajime's shampoo.

"...ne..."

"Su...ne..."

Looking around, Sugane realised things suddenly got darker. Hajime was no longer beside him, the stars has all disappeared. He was all alone on the edge of the cliff.

"Hajime? Where are you!"

* * *

"Sugane! Time to wake up!"

"Huh? What?..."

Just a dream. No, rather it was a memory of a time long since passed. Sighing, Sugane picked up his phone, ready to get going.

"..."

His eyes must be deceiving him, a trick of the light he reasons.

"No..."

Joe could barely catch his words.

"What is it Sugane?"

"She moved..."

"What?"

"She really moved!"

Rushing out the door of the bar, Joe quickly tossed some coins and notes before giving chase. It looks like the little miss has woken up at long last. The Gatchannel on his phone, showing her sitting up and smiling. With everyone around her happy that she woke up.

"In retrospect, I should not have brought you drinking Sugane!"

"I guess, well if anything, going out for a drink was also quite refreshing."

If anything, Sugane was glad he went for a drink. Since now he had something to run back for. Still, it was so Hajime to wake up not he very day he wasn't there waiting for her.

* * *

"Hajime!"

"..."

The base was empty, rather everyone was present, except Hajime.

"Hajime chan is sleeping with Utsutsu chan tonight~"

OD gave a small wink before gesturing to Paiman.

"Anyway, as I was saying. Tomorrow, a group consisting of Utsutsu, Newbie, Gelsadra and me will be leaving."

"Why must Utsutsu go?"

"A prophecy came in, a while after Hajime woke up. It seems to allude to some sort of disaster, and therefore I have concluded that Utsutsu's presence during the trip is necessary as a precaution."

"Then what about Hajime?"

"That's the thing Sugane. Hajime chan just woke up, we have to keep an eye on her but Utsutsu chan is not going to be here. I have been invited to the Millione show tomorrow too~"

OD looked at Paiman for a second. Nodding, they looked towards Sugane.

"Which is why we have put you in charge of taking care of Hajime chan~"

"Won't she just be resting in her room?"

"Actually she made plans to visit her parents tomorrow and has also shared her desire to return back to school on Monday."

Leader looked slightly uncomfortable with this, but a year with Hajime has probably told him that when Hajime says she wants to do something, she would do so regardless.

"What about Ninomiya san?"

"Ninomiya and I are busy tomorrow Sugane. Just accept it, we already decided."

Joe was licking a lollipop, casually leaning against the wall.

"When did you decide this? You were with me the whole time we were running back."

"We were discussing it on the NOTE's, while you were trying not to trip over another dumpster in the alleyway in your drunken state of mind. Next time don't drink so much."

The group giggled at this. Sighing, he nodded and went back to his room. His head was pounding and hurting from all the beers he had, he would not try to to drink so much next time. Taking a shower, he was so tired, he mindlessly walked towards the bed and fell asleep.

* * *

"Hey Sugane, do you have a girlfriend?"

Hajime was stuffing her face with a cheeseburger, yet her words were perfectly clear...sort of.

"No. Why?"

"Hmm just asking. I always see you with the three girls, I was just wondering if you had a thing for one of them. Unless...Don't tell me you're going for all three!?"

"Of course not what are you thinking!"

"Heh! The pretty boy is quite daring isn't he Hajime chan? Maybe we should bash his face in? It would make him look a lot cooler don't you think Hajime chan?"

"Katze san keep quiet~"

Every now and then Berg Katze would interrupt them. Sugane didn't know if it was because Hajime let him or if he somehow broke through. He suspects a combination of the two.

"Anyway, those three are just my friends."

"They seem to have a thing for you though. Hmm this burger is better than usual..."

"..."

As always, she digresses a lot. Maybe he should take this as a chance to...change topic.

"So how is your third year?"

"Fumu...its going quite well! I'm failing the languages as usual!"

"Thats not something to be proud of seriously! How are you going to graduate to university at this rate?"

Banter like this, was no longer an everyday occurrence, though from time to time they get into some kind of light argument. Hajime enjoys these times, Sugane feels warm.

Suagne woke up soon after, stars light up his eyes.

"Sugane, you shouldn't sleep on the ground. Now your shirt is all dirty, look you got dirt in your hair."

Looking to his left, Hajime was lying on his arm, lying close beside him. Jumping up in shock, he took a few breaths to recollect his thoughts. They were on the cliff. He must have fallen asleep after finishing his food.

"You say that, but weren't you doing the same just now?"

Stretching, yawning. Something must have woke him up, he just couldn't remember.

"We have a message from JJ"

"Oh?"

"And also a distress signal from Sugayan~"

"You seem awfully happy about this..."

"Haha well we get to travel after all. Rui will be getting us in a few minutes~"

Odd reasoning but whatever.

Holding out her hand, Sugane took it and pulled himself up.

"Still, it seems that the world is getting more dangerous than safer. I wonder if what we are going makes any difference at all."

"Of course it does. Also Sugane...how long are you going to hold my hand?"

"S-Sorry!"

They sat there, awkwardly. Well he did, she was happily sitting by the cliff edge, humming her 'Hero' tune as the team called it. Again she seemed to be in high spirits, more so than usual.

"Sorry I'm late."

"Oh not at all Rui~"

"Hello, its been a while hasn't it?"

"Hello Sugane sempai. It indeed has been huh?"

Teleporting, the three of them headed for the lands where the blu wings reside. First, they have to deal with some red _CROWDS_.

* * *

"..gane..."

Darkness. He couldn't see anything.

"Sugane..."

Something is moving. Shaking. Stirring.

"Sugane."

Light. Orange light from a table lamp, illuminating an otherwise dark room. In his arms was a girl, raven long hair and a quirky aura about her. Her eyes, though showing signs of weariness, was shining with mischief. Her name, Ichinose Hajime.

"Sugane, I see you are awake."

"Hajime...you...you're really awake."

"Hehehe...I have finally returned...to claim...my HAMMOCK!"

"...What?"

Looking around, he realised he was in her room, sleeping in her hammock, with her inside with him. A hammock was never designed for space, leaving Sugane's and Hajime's body in full direct contact with each other. Warm, she was warm, the warmest she has been in a very long time. Snapping out of it, Sugane tried to get out of the hammock, it overturned and threw him head first onto the floor and dragging her along with him.

"Ouch...Sugane, you should be more careful."

"Hajime, is it really you."

"...yes. I am back."

Pulling him into a close embrace, she buried her face in his chest. She could hear the beating of his heart, quickening, and finally slowing down. He put his arms around her and pulled her close to whisper in her ear.

"Welcome back."

* * *

"Everyone, welcome Hajime home!"

Paiman and the team walked into her room with the Gatchannel in OD's hands. Opening the door, they walked in.

"Sugane...you."

Joe was stifling a laugh, Sugane was getting redder by the minute.

"Sorry for the intrusion Hajime chan~" OD said before promptly pushing the team out and closing the door.

* * *

 _Ohh look, so lovely looking (LOL)_

 _IKR?_

 _I wonder if they were together?_

 _I wonder what they are doing in the room now?_

 _Kyaa!Getting steamy maybe? (LOL)_

 _Aww and I wanted Tachibana for myself..._

 _Hajime mai WAIFUUUUUU_

 _Shut up you otaku_

 _now now guys lets be civil_

 _Yeah guys_

 _hahaha lolz_


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 : Driftwood Memory**

She was sick of it all, tired and sick of it all. Alone in her room, she pours her eyes out and tries to stifle her cries. ' _It wasn't her fault_ ' she rationalises. It definitely was not her fault.

The rabbit escaped the cage, and was run over by a bicycle. Hajime was nowhere near the cage, she did not leave the cage open, she only went to water the plants that's all.

"That's all!" she screams at herself. Her life was hell, she wishes she could die. Everyday was torture and hell and she has had enough. She feigns sickness for a few days until her mother grows suspicious of it. With no option left, she returns to school.

* * *

"Oi look...its her right?"

"Yeah I heard she also let the flowers wilt."

"I heard she also messed up the garden."

"Yeah the absolute worst."

"Ugly girl."

"What's with her clothes, looks expensive."

"Rich girl, thinks she can look down on us."

* * *

Hajime has a routine. Go to school early in the morning, find her indoor shoes. Go to class, clean the board of insults directed to her and find her desk. Sometimes her desk if she is lucky, he desk would be there. Of course there are insults written across it but is is better than locating and dragging it back. Go through class, eat lunch in the toilet with her belongings. Go through class. Locate her outdoor shoes and then leave for home. Go into her room, undress and shower. Have tea, and do homework. Eat dinner and go to her room. Cry and finally fall asleep. Rinse and repeat.

Simple isn't it?

She has gotten used to it, surprisingly. What was she doing really? All she did was to follow her friends, did everything so she wouldn't be hated. Why did it turn out like this. Hajime always liked cooking, but sometimes the sharp edge of the knife seems to look more and more appealing. Certainly she does not want to die, but if this is the life she is to live, dying seems more natural.

This logic grows more and more compelling over the weeks. Absentmindedly, she draws the knife over her left wrist, slowly and softly. It is sharp enough to just scratch the surface of her skin, even when she wasn't pressing down on the knife. A little more force and it would be over, the thought raced through her mind, like fire her body grow more nervous, anxious, excited at his new prospect of fight and flight. Hajime feels powerful and restless, in absolute control. Absentmindedly, she draws the knife over her wrist again, with a little more force, slowly, carefully-

"HAJIME!"

A scream breaks her mindless stupor, and she is jolted back to reality. Her mom stands under the doorway, looking scared and angry. A sting draws her attention, the knife is tainted with red, dripping red. Her wrist was stained in a deep crimson she has never seen before. The pain, unnoticeable at first but slowly throbbed with emotion and feeling, more intense than she ever felt. Tears slowly roll down her face, she loved it, it was proof that she was still alive.

Her mother quickly washes and disinfects her wounds, more than one cut existed. Hajime wonders when that happened.

"I only did it once."

"Then why are there five open wounds?!"

"...an accident?"

She felt cornered, every emotion she had hidden from her mother for months began to boil up and burst out her eyes. Hajime closes them trying miserably to push it back down.

"What's wrong Hajime?" Her mother asks, concerned and strict.

"Nothing..."

"Hajime, tell me. Mommy will help you, I won't abandon you."

And Hajime gives in. The tears pouring faster and harder than ever, she cries more than the times she cried alone in her room. In a week, she is withdrawn from the curriculum. Her father decides to move closer to Tokyo and Hajime says goodbye to her home. Her new house, was five times bigger than her old one Hajime gets three entire rooms to herself, one for studying, one for sleeping, and and adjacent one to keep her toys.

In Tokyo, she receives something called Sai-ko-logical (psychological) treatment at a Sai-ko-logical In-stee-tiute (psychological institute). The people were nice and gave her sweets. She comes to like it there, and looks forward to her appointments. During the first two years she spends there, Hajime gets something called a Private Tyuu-tor (Tutor). As she understands it, a teacher comes to her house and teaches her. Hajime is the only one in her class, no one else is in the same class. She is told that there are other students, she just doesn't know where.

She grows fond of math and Science and enjoys painting and playing the piano and violin and flute and whatever musical instrument comes in her hand. She gives her first recital 9 months later. She is awarded 5th grade in all of them.

During her weekends, her father trains her in his ' _proper behaviour class_ ' as he calls it.

"Hajime, one day you will inherit this estate and you must learn how to behave properly in the public eye."

"Ehh? I will in-hairy this cake? What is a pub eye?"

She enjoys the times when she draws with her mom. Her mother would cut pieces of paper and make pretty flowers with them, she wants to try too.

"I want to try."

"No Hajime, you might cut yourself."

"I won't I won't"

She will wait for years before she will be trusted with another sharp object. Hajime wonders why.

* * *

"Mom, why is everyone so worried about me?"

"Where did you get that idea from?"

"Because everywhere I go, there will always be someone somewhere watching me, the maids the servants and even the gardener."

She no longer sees them from that day onwards, though she still feels like she is watched. She learns a lot from her mom, she tells her of many thing. She also teaches her about people in general, when they of out shopping, she points out different people and asks her what kind of person they are. Hajime is bad at the game, but she gets better. Her mother also teaches her that first impressions are not always the whole story, deeper observation and research is required.

Hajime sees a pair of scissors. The most beautiful pair. The silver handle arching ever so gently and the gold tinge wrapping ever so subtly around the edges. The arch of the handle resembles a cane standing in the shallow water, patiently waiting for food to swim by. The blades, where replaceable and glowed with metallic razor sharpness. The finish of the handle gave the illusion of feathers on the wings, enhanced by the gold outlines. She has fallen in love. She begs her mother for months and months. Her mother never relents.

Sometimes, when she has lunch, Hajime would see a group of school kids go by on their way home. A sense of longing that is foreign to her slowly envelops her heart. Over a period of 10 years, this feeling would grow continuously and steadily, for now it was but a small prick in her heart. He mother notices unbeknownst to her, and she contemplates or rather, entertains the idea of letting Hajime return to elementary school.

After two years, Hajime has been given the opportunity to go back to school. She is little apprehensive, but she also feels...wierd. She is going to be 10 years old next year and has now grown a little. She feels like she is no longer the girl she used to be. She transfers in a little into spring. The cherry blossoms have already long bloomed and gone.

* * *

It took a lot of convincing, begging, and throwing of tantrums for her parents to finally give in. Sure she was only a 6th grader but she should be more than old enough to live on her own. Of course her father would hear nothing of it, no matter for she could use her secret weapon...mom.

Her mother was the one her father listened to unquestioningly, faithfully. To get father to agree, first she had to convince mom.

"I don't understand why you want to live alone. Are we not providing enough for you?"

"You guys are doing just fine mom."

"Then there really is no reason to live alone right?"

Hajime understands, but will not relent.

"Mom...You told me once that I should be myself, think for myself. I think I understand now, so pleeeeaaase~"

The ultimate weapon, a cute pout and irrefutable logic and immeasurable persistence. Mom relents after the 16th try.

"On the condition that a caretaker will be living with you."

"But I want to be alone."

"Of course, she will be there simply to assist you if needed, and to keep an eye on you. Your father has already agreed to you living alone, at least agree to his condition."

"It's not really ' _alone'_ but alright."

Whilst they get the affair straightened out, Hajime makes one last final paper bird. She has not made one in three years, since moving to Tokyo but she still remembers every step. This time, she makes a white silver bird, with light blue and pink highlights. She leaves everything behind, her diaries and stationary, and beloved notebooks. They will remain here together as she makes of on her brand new adventure. Her beloved ' _silver crane_ ' as she calls it, a present when she turned ten, will be left behind too. She places it carefully into its casing and keeps it in her desk.

Her parents buy a small apartment in the city, a tad spacious but generally alright. Its close to her new middle school and her caretaker will be Aunty Shiro, a middle aged woman who was her nanny since she was a child.

"My how you've grown so quickly. Only 12 and living alone out in the city?"

"Haha well its not quite alone but yeah."

As instructed, Aunt Shiro does not tend to her, nor does she take care of the house.

"But at least let me do the dishes and laundry." she insists.

* * *

Her new friends were nice, though she is still weary of people. She does not care anymore though, let them think what they want,Hajime will do what Hajime wants. Over time, she makes actual friends, her notebooks were still her favourites of course. Her new 'people' friends were nice enough people, and like her were also a little air headed.

Over time, they have become quite good friends. Even so, she keeps herself a little detached from them.

"Hajime, sometimes, you have this weird look" Izumi says.

"Yeah, like you are thinking about something very seriously." Inami finishes.

"Really? Usually people would say I'm smiley all the time."

"But you are. Sometimes though, those smiles seems little sad."

"Haha well I was just thinking about something, don't mind though I'm fine." She says a little too quick. Her friends get the message, she doesn't want to tell them. They ask her about the new series of scissors coming out next month instead.

* * *

Spring goes by and summer comes around, the middle year tests come and go and they receive their scores. Hajime places in the top ten in the whole school.

"An average of 98 in all maths, science, history, social studies and liberal arts but a **B** in Japanese and English."

"Hehe... I thought I did quite well in the languages."

"According to the teachers, it seems that your comprehension was exceptional, you understood perfectly the problems at hand rather it was the way you answered that was the problem."

"I think I answered fine though."

Reading through, her answers were indeed...

"Hajime..."

"Hajime chan..."

They were speechless. How was she able to score so well in History, yet unable to even score high in languages?

"You know, I read somewhere that all it takes is a few hundred words to form basic conversations? I guess it is because I have enough vocabulary to write down stuff, but not enough to like impress the teachers in language I guess.."

"What a waste, if you only put in a little more effort..."

* * *

As a result of her scoring high, her friends and a few classmates have pestered her to tutor them. So she invites them over to her house on a Saturday. She prepares tea, cold drinks and some handmade snacks for her guests. Some cookies for the dainty girls, and some onigiri for the hungry guys.

"Wow, I didn't know your house was so big."

"Haha is it? I think it is quite small. When I first moved in, it was quite big but now it seems smaller than I remember."

"Really? Are you're parents home?"

"Nah I live alone"

"Alone? In this big two story five room apartment?"

"Y-Yeah? Like I said its not that big."

Her friends look astonished, perhaps she was wrong somewhere?

Anyway, after their initial surprise it is down to work.

"Anyway like I said, first you do this, then you follow it down like this, then you tickle it a little here like this and you get _3x - 4y = 7_ which is the answer."

"O-Okay."

"After that, you combine it with this here like this, then play chase it around the tree like this, and you get _x = 9_ which you then send home like this and then _y_ will behave and come out to _y = 5_. Okay?"

"O-Okay. So you do this..."

"Yep"

"Then this..."

"Yep"

"Then this?"

"No no you do this..."

"O-Okay like this?"

"Yep"

"Then like this?"

"Correct!"

It takes some time, but it seems they understand her method of teaching now. It gets easier and easier to teach them Hajime wonders. It was until evening that they finished.

"Haaaaa~ Hajime, you really are a genius you know?" Izumi notes.

"Hmmm?"

"Yeah, while we were trying our best, you were playing with what seemed to be high school math." Inami says.

"Ahh that. Well recently I was like whoa and felt like I needed to go further you know? Soon I was finished reading through the entire textbook and needed to find the next level book to read you know~"

"No we don't. Anyway, do you have something to eat?"

"Ohh, the snacks have finished?"

"Yeah. Every single bite is gone."

"Why don't you make diner Ichinose?" suggest a guy classmate, Souta if she remembers right.

"Well I guess I could."

"Really? Hell yeah."

The guys were energetic today huh?

"Anything we can help with Hajime?"

"Could you flambe the steaks, prepare the sauce and stir the veggies while I prepare the fish and rice?"

"Err...we could do the rice and stir the veggies?"

"Okay then I'll do the rest."

* * *

A big dinner, Hajime has eaten quite a lot today. After dinner, her friends left for home. The girls leave in groups, the guys leave one by one. Izumi and Inami stay behind until all the guys leave.

"Oi Ichinose, You got a boyfriend?"

"Oi Souta, how could you ask a girl something like that?" Izumi rebukes.

"What? Just asking."

"Boyfriend? Nope not currently. Why?"

"Heh...you don't have one? What about a guy you like?"

"Hmmm not really."

"Why not?" Inami asks.

It appears Izumi and Inami have been drawn into the conversation.

"Well the guys don't seem like my type, rather I'm not interested at all."

The boys all look dejected and depressed. Once they leave, Izumi and Inami laugh.

"Whats so funny?" Hajime asks.

"Well you indirectly rejected every single guy in our class."

Hajime resolves to pay more attention to people next time.

* * *

At night, Hajime walks around the house. The city lights shining like thousands of stars, yet they seem empty and lacklustre compared to the countryside she grew up in. She feels restless, empty almost, a hunger she has not felt in some time. Somehow, Hajime feels like something is near, like her destiny is awaiting. Restlessness creeps into her, her empty heart craves for it to be filled.

Elsewhere, a lone blonde boy would meet a tall mysterious man. Many identical girls prowl the city, unseen and unnoticed. A man smokes in a bar, playing darts and two foreign friends have a drink in a large underground basement.

Hajime graduates soon after and moves to high school. Her friends Inami and Izumi joins her as well.


End file.
